Remembering Diana

Here are the remarks I made at the reception following Diana's funeral last Saturday. I was asked to cover her career.

Most of Diana’s professional life was with the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation – the FDIC. She was working for the Distilled Spirits Lobby when she got a phone call to come for an interview, prompting her to swap clothes with a co-worker so she could wear a dress for the meeting.

Diana served first as a Reference Librarian and then as the Assistant Chief Librarian and eventually as Chief Librarian. I first met Diana in January 1986 when I interviewed for a job at the FDIC.

I remember sitting down in the office she shared with her colleague Len, both desks and the shelves around them piled high with papers and books and the myriad tomes that Libraries had before the advent of databases and the internet.

My job at the FDIC began on March 17 - St. Patrick's Day. The team was very nice and fun to work with. Diana was friendly, witty, and we got to know each other better.

In September of that year she was planning a trip to Scotland with her father. She had not traveled with him before, but they got along well. He was the source of her wry sense of humor. Since she was going to be gone for about three weeks Diana asked me to house/cat sit for her. I agreed.

While Diana and her father were in Scotland her father had a sudden heart attack and died. So she was tending to all of that with the help of nice associate vicar.
After Diana returned to DC and got settled again, she invited me to dinner to thank me for my help as a house-sitter.

While sitting on the couch in her 42nd Street condo and drinking a beer I said to Diana, "There's this really awful joke that keeps going through my head."

Diana poked her head out of the kitchen and arched an eyebrow and said, "Do tell."

"Other than that, what did you think of the play Mrs. Lincoln?"

Fortunately Diana laughed and that cemented our friendship.

Over the years, Diana took on many responsibilities. She helped by writing policy and supervising part of the staff. She managed the Library’s database system – blazing new trails for herself and the staff. She worked well with all the staff and treated everyone fairly. Throughout it all Diana maintained her good humor and friendly nature.

In time her supervisor and friend Carole Cleland retired and Diana became the Chief Librarian. She continued to run things smoothly and let her staff do their jobs with the confidence that she would back them up.

Diana saw many changes at the agency in her 25 years there. She began working at a time when the FDIC was a quiet little agency through the build-up of staff during the thrift crisis of the late 1980’s. Following that she worked through years of down-sizing at the agency.

Diana worked with many people throughout the agency. She had many friends at all levels. She served as an advisor to the FDIC News – a staff monthly. Diana was an award-winning photographer as well.

For many years Diana was active at St. Alban’s Parish with the Grate Patrol – preparing meals for DC’s homeless a couple of times a month. At one point the FDIC recognized Diana for her community involvement. Diana told me how one evening she was on her way home when a homeless man asked her for some change. Diana directed him to McPherson Square where the van would be handing out meals to the hungry. The man muttered, “That food is rotten and it has roaches in it.”

Diana roused herself and said, “I’ll have you know that I cooked the food that is being served tonight and it is certainly not rotten, nor does it have roaches!”

At a time when the Library staff was threatened with outsourcing Diana led the offensive to defend the value of her staff - backing that up with research, statistics and written recommendations from patrons. Much to the consternation of her own bosses there was a lot of pressure brought to keep and support the library staff.

Diana took every advantage to educate her bosses at the FDIC of the scope and nature of library work. It was important to her that others recognized the value of the knowledge and skills of her staff and how the agency benefited from their dedication.

One of the reasons that Diana was such a pleasant co-worker is that she never took herself too seriously. While some people decorate their offices with their diplomas and awards – Diana displayed some of her own photographs, a Dewar’s Scotch ad, a Dame Edna poster, and her Sunday School graduation certificate.

Diana enjoyed her colleagues on the Library staff at the FDIC and regarded them as an extended family. She was our supervisor or boss, but also our big sister. She was approachable. She was willing to spot us $5 till payday on occasion. The library had a tradition of holding its own holiday party and inviting the staff to bring along children and grandchildren. She endured games of Monsters in the Library - children being chased to the sounds or roars (from the monsters) and screams and laughter from the children. She regarded her friend’s children much as her own nieces and nephews.

Diana was supportive of the staff when they were going through personal difficulties or illness. She was always a compassionate colleague, supervisor and friend. This is how I think most of us will remember her.

Celebrating Diana

This past Saturday, March 28 - family and friends gathered at St. Alban's Episcopal Parish to remember, mourn, pray for and celebrate our wonderful friend Diana.

It was a perfect day for a funeral - very British weather - a good day for hats, raincoats, brollies and the like. My partner George and I found parking and entered the church. So many friends - Nancy Williams, Pat Petrash, Liz Callison, Harry Stubbs, Vivian Comer and her sons Ellis and Owen. Many more FDIC folks - Len, Dee, Alicia, Ellin, Reg and Daphne, Kathleen, Carole and George Cleland, Erika Teal and husband Jim, Roberta and Bill, Jim Marino and Pam McDonough, Dr. Ed Barrese Noreen Lewis, Caryl Austrian and I know I didn't see everyone.

There were other friends from different parts of Diana's life - Pete and Astrid, Philip Wong-Cross, Rick and Elmer. Diana's cousins - Jim Smith (on her father's side) and Chris (on their mothers' side).

We all gathered beneath the crossbeams of St. Albans as the organ rolled and the choir and clergy arrived. It was all very proper and Anglican - and a real celebration of the promise of the Gospel.

Diana had asked the choir to sing several George Herbert poems set to music by Ralph Vaughn Williams. These songs were interspersed throughout the service along with the rituals from the Book of Common Prayer and audience participation, i.e. hymn-singing.

The George Herbert poem that best sums things up is The Call

Come, my Way, my Truth, my Life :
Such a Way, as gives us breath :
Such a Truth, as ends all strife :
And such a Life, as killeth death.

Come, my Light, my Feast, my Strength :
Such a Light, as shows a feast :
Such a Feast, as mends in length :
Such a Strength, as makes his guest.

Come, my Joy, my Love, my Heart :
Such a Joy, as none can move :
Such a Love, as none can part :
Such a Heart, as joyes in love.

The works of George Herbert can be found online.

Following the funeral there was procession to the columbarium on the north side of St. Albans where Diana's ashes and those of her mother Dorothy were columburied. Outdoors, Diana's cousin Chris found me and we said hello and met her daughter Liz. I didn't think to mention just how much she looks like her cousin Diana. Anyway Chris whispered - What happened to Iona and the Isle of Wight? I responded, I don't know. I'll have to ask.

So then into the Guild Hall for perhaps the grandest post-funeral reception I have been to. We were greeted with the happy sound of champagne corks popping. Appropriately, tea was being served in one location along with myriad little sandwiches and desserts. Elsewhere a table was spread with bowls of delicious strawberries, platters of cheeses and a seemingly bottomless bowl of shrimp. This was certainly Diana's kind of party!

Eventually people began to share their remembrances of Diana. I will post mine eventually, even though there is some repetition of what I have mentioned below.

It sort of all came back to a comment in the homily by Brother Robert Sevinsky, OHC. I paraphrase,

Diana had integrity, that is, she was an integer. She mattered. And while I realised that I didn't know everything about Diana's history, I knew Diana. And I know that perhaps none of us knew everything about her, still we all knew the same person. It was the same person of Diana whom we met at church, at work or on pilgrimage.

I will attempt to get a copy of his full homily.

One last thing - for now - when we entered Guild Hall, we were presented with copies of A Spiritual Miscellany - Tuesday Morning Homilies at St. Alban's Church by Diana Smith. These were produced by the help of members of St. Alban's Tuesday morning Eucharist community and members of the Friends of St. Benedict. I haven't read them all, but I was drawn to one - titled Valedictory written May 6, 2008, after visiting England for the last time.

Ascension Day has come and gone; I am not, as the disciples were, distraught, nor do I much care about the theology behind this major feast day. For once in my life I know I can't think my way out of this one. I'm sticking with abiding, with tending the flame.

Tracking my friend Diana online

Interesting exercise.

I am searching the Internet for mentions of my friend Diana.

I have found a couple of mentions from her parish's online bulletin. One, a talk she gave in November 2006 about her piligrimage to the Holy Land and her remark on the moment of shared rationality and faith while at the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem she knelt to put her hand on the star that marks the spot where Christ was born.

Another mentions that the Lectionary and Sacramentary that she donated in memory of her mother Dorothy were blessed.

Next I found her appeal to fellow Anglicans back in 2005 as she was looking for friends of St. Benedict worldwide.

Then I found this wry self-introduction:

Smith, Diana submitted April 2002

With pint of Old Peculier in hand, I'll step up to intro myself:

My name is Diana Smith. I live in Washington DC and attend St Alban's Parish, in the shadow of the Washington National Cathedral. Such proximity has led to many happy listmeets with cyberfriends from all over...and I'm delighted to see some of you in the pub. (I note that there is no dart board in the pub....!). I first found Anglican cyberfriends when I joined the Anglican List, then hosted by American University's computers, sometime maybe in 1995 or 94?

Born and raised in Austintascious, I'm a cradle Episcopalian who wandered off during the 60s and came back in the (not red) front door in 1985, swearing I wouldn't be involved in parish life. As I finish a 3-year term on vestry, I am the first to admit the power of God's grace in my life!

I'm owned by a 7 year old cat named Scamp, who lives up to his name. At the present time, I'm the Library Mistress for the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation, which insures bank deposits. Pretty dry for someone who majored in British History! However, I've been offered a buyout and an "early out", ie, take the annunity and run, so I am engaged in serious vocational discernment.

My interests are reading and travel, esp to Great Britain and Ireland.

Although I'm very likely to lurk, I'm equally happy to be here!

Update - I found this today (April 9) on a Google Group - soc.culture.scottish

Hey folks--just want to commemorate the passing of one of my very good friends; we had met some time back when I first started working in Washington, and she was one of the few who truly understood my love of things Scottish--a devoted Angophile in the midst of the capital of the Murkins, she was seen to be a bit squirrel-cage also, a bit off center--but aren't most librarians and extreme bibliophiles?--but, despite the fact she had more teapots than the Mad Hatter, she was warm and supportive and a good friend to have around. She will be missed. Peace to her memory--JML, who will hoist some Earl Grey in her honor]

Living through change

The past year has been pretty challenging.

A year ago I was serving as the president of DC's Different Drummers and we were going through the process of saying good bye to our director of 10 years, Scott Barker, and selecting a new director - Joe Bello.

At work I was enduring a great deal of unpleasantness including false accusations and other insanity.

My mother became ill and died and within the past week a wonderful friend who was in good health a year ago passed away.

So like everyone else who is still alive and breathing, I'm left to sort through it all and keep going.

Band - we have a new president who is doing an excellent job. It is actually kinda fun to see the differences in her approach from mine as well as renewed enthusiasm. I take some pride in my accomplishments that puts us on the road we are now and I'm happy to see others stepping up to do that work.

Work - things finally came to a head back in December and the situation is much better. The current challenge for me is to get over the resentments that have built up over the past year. Though I don't think I should assume that it couldn't happen again.

My family - my siblings and I have moved into changed relationships without our parents around. That too is interesting. My nieces and nephews are becoming adults and being responsible. And we are working to settle the estate. Anyone want to buy a house in West Virginia?

Diana - for now there's some hand-holding and messages with other friends of Diana. In a week or so we'll have her funeral. A priest friend agreed to tend to scattering Diana's ashes (and those of her late mother). If I can I'll go on that trip to England. Also I have asked if my band could perform a medley of tunes from The Music Man. It is Diana's favorite musical and it features a librarian as a lead character. That will be in the fall and will allow me some closure.

I'll make it through all this change. With a little help from my friends!!

Rest in Peace - Diana Smith - 1950-2009

I got word that my friend Diana passed away in the wee small hours of Saturday morning, March 14. She was 58 1/2 years old.

God and others were good and I had a chance to stop by and see her after work. She was at home, in bed, her tabby cat Oscar sitting with her in bed. When I walked in and greeted Diana she opened her eyes and I take some comfort that she knew I was there and I was able to make my good-byes.

As one friend said - if God has a complaint department he figures that our friend was there in line on Saturday. Yes - we all know we'll eventually do this, but Diana should have had another 20 years or so. Maybe that's what Purgatory is - standing in line at the complaint desk until you realize you can just let it go and enter heaven and see God as He truly is. What blinding light!

The photo here is one I took on our one joint trip to England. We first went to Canterbury, then up into East Anglia and the villages of Woolpit, Ely, Walsingham and Norwich. This photo is at one of the Norman churches in East Anglia. My title for this has always been - Yoo-hoo, Vicar!.

We will miss you and look forward to joining you some day. Much love, thanks and appreciation.

More thoughts about Diana

My dear friend Diana is leaving.

I have heard from a couple of friends that she has slipped into a coma (for lack of anything more comfortable to wear). There are a whole bunch of people who will be on the other side to bid her welcome and I pray I get there someday!

Despite being such a shy person, Diana has quite the circle of friends. She would steel herself to get up and address groups, though she didn't seem to fear reading at church or conducting services at the Washington Home. She even organized and presented a class at the Smithsonian on Tea Customs and the Tea Trade.

But Diana enjoyed smaller gatherings - she loved to have people over to dinner. I stuffed myself on many delicious Easter Sunday dinners at her table. Eating off her grandmother's china and leaving her father (the dishwasher) to clean up. The dishwasher and kitchen renovations were paid for by her inheritance following her father's death. See earlier post.

Sometimes Diana would endure parties. On a few occasions she would invite me to attend a party with her so she would have someone to talk to.

Do you remember how when we were young our parents would be going to a party and we wanted to go? A party is games, and cake and ice cream - who wouldn't want to go to a party? And my parents would respond, "It's not that kind of a party. You wouldn't have any fun."

Well, once I went to a party with Diana and I recalled my parents' comment. I wish I had asked them and stayed at home. The party was perfectly nice, the hosts were convivial, there was good food and copious amounts of wine. And there were lots of people, and had it not been for Diana's company I would have feigned illness and left.

Another occasion was a Halloween party. I'm not at my best for costume parties. Despite being a creative person, I have trouble coming up with costumes that I actually like. Or I have an idea that I am not able to bring to pass. But in 1991 I was ready. I had lots of advance warning on the invitation and I had been thinking of my costume. I actually made part of it. I would be Cardinal Richilieu - I needed something that would work with a beard.

So Diana and I were going together and she liked my idea. But what could her costume be that would tie into mine? She went to a local costume shop and started wandering around and got a bit of Pilgrim and a red feather for her hat. Her characterization gelled in her mind. She was a Musketeer - the daughter of Porthos. She was Pathos.

Saying good bye to a friend

I started working in Washington, DC in March, 1985. I had a job at Arena Stage. Later that year I moved in with my godmother who worked for the Dept. of Defense. She steered me to work in the government and I have always been thankful for her guidance.

My first job in the government was at the FDIC Library. I interviewed the morning that the space shuttle Challenger exploded (though I only learned of that later in the day.) So I am always reminded of that date - January 28, 1986. That day I interviewed with Diana Smith who was the Assistant Chief Librarian at the time.

I remember sitting down in the office she shared with her colleague Len, both desks and the shelves around them piled high with papers and books and the myriad reference tomes that Libraries had before the advent of databases and the internet.

I wore a Harris Tweed jacket that had belonged to my father - I wish I knew what I ever did with that - and because it was winter - I was wearing boots. I so loved showing up for an interview carrying a winter coat and wearing boots. Thank goodness librarians are used to odd people!

My job at the FDIC began on March 17 - St. Patrick's Day. The team was very nice and fun to work with. Diana was friendly, witty, and we got to know each other better.

In September of that year she was planning a trip to Scotland with her father. She had not traveled with him before, but they got along well. He was the source of her wry sense of humor. Since she was going to be gone for about three weeks Diana asked me to house/cat sit for her. I agreed.

While Diana and her father were in Scotland her father had a sudden heart attack and died. So she was tending to all of that with the help of nice associate vicar. She got her father's remains cremated and then flew directly to Texas.

After Diana returned to DC and got settled again, she invited me to dinner to thank me for my help as a house-sitter. (By this time I had moved on to a job at a different agency.)

While sitting on the couch in her 42nd Street condo and drinking a beer I said to Diana, "There's this really awful joke that keeps going through my head."

Diana poked her head out of the kitchen and arched an eyebrow, "Do tell."

"Other than that, what did you think of the play Mrs. Lincoln?"

Diana smiled and laughed. She said that she had to remind herself that she and her father had enjoyed a wonderful week together in Scotland. Her father's doctor had said that he was in poor health and on borrowed time, but he was looking forward to the trip with her.

Diana was a great Anglophile and made regular trips to Great Britain. On one occasion I went with her and we visited Canterbury, and the East Anglia towns of Woolpit, Walsingham and Norwich. We had a marvelous time together and managed not to get on each others nerves - more a testament to her I think.

Over the years I have learned much from Diana and enjoyed many fun cultural and spiritual activities. We went to concerts, movies and plays together. We went to many wonderful restaurants. We got to know each others' families and enjoyed each others' company.

I learned about English tea from Diana and helped her with the classes she taught on "How to have a proper English Tea." We also discussed how to eject people from one's home after English Tea is over.

Diana also gave wonderful example of what it means to be a Christian. She was prayerful and scholarly in her approach to the Bible and liturgy. But she also worked for several years with her parish of St. Alban's preparing food for the homeless and on occasion helping to distribute the food. She helped her parish with all manner of spiritual, liturgical and community events.

And at some point she discovered - or was brought to - the Benedictine monks at Holy Cross Abbey in New York. The monks and the rule of St. Benedict gave a new direction to her travels to the UK and to her own spirituality.

And, as a good Christian should be, Diana has always been hopeful, generous, and loving. One Sunday afternoon she took me to the National Cathedral for the annual "Kirking of the Tartan". The day that the Cathedral becomes a Presbyterian church. A bagpipe band processed in followed by several venerable Scotsmen who later presented their equally venerable tartans to be blessed. (From the looks of them I think they had been blessed about 100 times!) Following a dreadful sermon Diana turned to me with a puzzled expression. "He never mentioned once that God actually loves any of us."

And Diana has always enjoyed a wonderful sense of humor. Her father and my father shared a sense of humor. They never met on this side of Heaven, but I hope that they have made friends by now.

Diana held an elegant dinner that became uproarious when someone took down the book of limericks that was on her shelf! She got complaints from the management at the Westchester one night when a party of Anglican friends went wild with hymn singing. And I was with Diana at the Booth Theatre in New York City when Dame Edna called her onto the stage.

Diana has been ill with cancer for less than a year and she won't be around much longer. It is hard to say good bye - but she has been a part of my life for almost 23 years and I expect her to stay a part of my life.