Saying good bye to a friend

I started working in Washington, DC in March, 1985. I had a job at Arena Stage. Later that year I moved in with my godmother who worked for the Dept. of Defense. She steered me to work in the government and I have always been thankful for her guidance.

My first job in the government was at the FDIC Library. I interviewed the morning that the space shuttle Challenger exploded (though I only learned of that later in the day.) So I am always reminded of that date - January 28, 1986. That day I interviewed with Diana Smith who was the Assistant Chief Librarian at the time.

I remember sitting down in the office she shared with her colleague Len, both desks and the shelves around them piled high with papers and books and the myriad reference tomes that Libraries had before the advent of databases and the internet.

I wore a Harris Tweed jacket that had belonged to my father - I wish I knew what I ever did with that - and because it was winter - I was wearing boots. I so loved showing up for an interview carrying a winter coat and wearing boots. Thank goodness librarians are used to odd people!

My job at the FDIC began on March 17 - St. Patrick's Day. The team was very nice and fun to work with. Diana was friendly, witty, and we got to know each other better.

In September of that year she was planning a trip to Scotland with her father. She had not traveled with him before, but they got along well. He was the source of her wry sense of humor. Since she was going to be gone for about three weeks Diana asked me to house/cat sit for her. I agreed.

While Diana and her father were in Scotland her father had a sudden heart attack and died. So she was tending to all of that with the help of nice associate vicar. She got her father's remains cremated and then flew directly to Texas.

After Diana returned to DC and got settled again, she invited me to dinner to thank me for my help as a house-sitter. (By this time I had moved on to a job at a different agency.)

While sitting on the couch in her 42nd Street condo and drinking a beer I said to Diana, "There's this really awful joke that keeps going through my head."

Diana poked her head out of the kitchen and arched an eyebrow, "Do tell."

"Other than that, what did you think of the play Mrs. Lincoln?"

Diana smiled and laughed. She said that she had to remind herself that she and her father had enjoyed a wonderful week together in Scotland. Her father's doctor had said that he was in poor health and on borrowed time, but he was looking forward to the trip with her.

Diana was a great Anglophile and made regular trips to Great Britain. On one occasion I went with her and we visited Canterbury, and the East Anglia towns of Woolpit, Walsingham and Norwich. We had a marvelous time together and managed not to get on each others nerves - more a testament to her I think.

Over the years I have learned much from Diana and enjoyed many fun cultural and spiritual activities. We went to concerts, movies and plays together. We went to many wonderful restaurants. We got to know each others' families and enjoyed each others' company.

I learned about English tea from Diana and helped her with the classes she taught on "How to have a proper English Tea." We also discussed how to eject people from one's home after English Tea is over.

Diana also gave wonderful example of what it means to be a Christian. She was prayerful and scholarly in her approach to the Bible and liturgy. But she also worked for several years with her parish of St. Alban's preparing food for the homeless and on occasion helping to distribute the food. She helped her parish with all manner of spiritual, liturgical and community events.

And at some point she discovered - or was brought to - the Benedictine monks at Holy Cross Abbey in New York. The monks and the rule of St. Benedict gave a new direction to her travels to the UK and to her own spirituality.

And, as a good Christian should be, Diana has always been hopeful, generous, and loving. One Sunday afternoon she took me to the National Cathedral for the annual "Kirking of the Tartan". The day that the Cathedral becomes a Presbyterian church. A bagpipe band processed in followed by several venerable Scotsmen who later presented their equally venerable tartans to be blessed. (From the looks of them I think they had been blessed about 100 times!) Following a dreadful sermon Diana turned to me with a puzzled expression. "He never mentioned once that God actually loves any of us."

And Diana has always enjoyed a wonderful sense of humor. Her father and my father shared a sense of humor. They never met on this side of Heaven, but I hope that they have made friends by now.

Diana held an elegant dinner that became uproarious when someone took down the book of limericks that was on her shelf! She got complaints from the management at the Westchester one night when a party of Anglican friends went wild with hymn singing. And I was with Diana at the Booth Theatre in New York City when Dame Edna called her onto the stage.

Diana has been ill with cancer for less than a year and she won't be around much longer. It is hard to say good bye - but she has been a part of my life for almost 23 years and I expect her to stay a part of my life.