What the obituary leaves out

Margaret C. McBee, 83
1925-JULY 22, 2008

BERKELEY SPRINGS, W.Va. - Margaret Carroll McBee, 83, of Berkeley Springs, died Tuesday, July 22, 2008, at Winchester (Va.) Medical Center.

Born in 1925, in Greensburg, Pa., she was the daughter of the late Edward F. and Anna M. Carroll.

She was preceded in death by her husband, Carroll Dwan McBee, in 2006. They were married April 11, 1953.

She attended Catholic University.

She was employed as a secretary.

She was a member of St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church in Berkeley Springs.

She is survived by one daughter, Teresa A. McBee-Massimino of Shepherdstown, W.Va.; three sons, Stephen C. McBee and Patrick M. McBee, both of Berkeley Springs and David E. McBee of Washington D.C.; eight grandchildren; and one great-grandchild.

She was preceded in death by one brother, Edward L. Carroll.

A memorial service will be conducted at a later date.

Memorial donations may be made to St. Vincent de Paul, Building Fund, 24 S. Mercer St., Berkeley Springs, WV 25411.

That was the obituary that ran in the Hagerstown Herald-Mail on July 24, 2008.

It doesn't say millions of things.

Mother actually had two brothers. The first-born died at about five days old following a complicated delivery. He was nursed and cared for in the hospital, but the morning that he died his mother (my grandmother) knew that he was dying and said to the doctor, This is a Catholic baby and he needs to be baptized. A year or so later my Uncle Ned was born in 1925 my mother was born.

My mother and uncle grew up next door to an aunt and uncle and their 4 boys who were like brothers to them as well. So being the only girl in the mix, my mother was in all the rough and tumble with them too. And she'd get into trouble. If they did something wrong - it was she who would have to 'fess up to her mother.

Fortunately Mother made friends with Mary Virginia Banks who lived down the street. They were born just 3 days apart and were like sisters. Mary Virginia is my godmother.

So, while it sounds like a small family - just two kids - it was much more than that. There was also Mary's sister Ruth and their brother Grove Lee, and further down the street was Marian Lee Wash. And the Shockey boys who lived up the hill. And Patty Mongan and Betty Cohill and the list of friends just kept growing.

Mother grew up active in the local parish of St. Vincent de Paul. She was in the very first First Communion class in 1931 and that is where she was married in 1953 to the man who was the love of her life - my dad, Dwan McBee.

But I'm ahead of myself. As a child my mother developed rheumatic fever and was home sick for 4 years. But she recovered and with the help of tutors she managed to get back in school, just 2 years behind her original classmates. And she had a near-miraculous recovery - well to hear my grandmother talk about it.

My mother wanted to be a nurse and went into a nursing program, but after a conflict with one of the teachers she withdrew from the program. She never did get to be a nurse and I think that is something she had some regrets about. But she went to Business school and trained as a secretary. She did some secretarial work in Berkeley Springs, but she ended up moving to Washington, DC and first worked at Pepco.

My Uncle Ned had gone to the Catholic University of America and studied Engineering. He looked after her though Mother was pretty independent. After a year or so she got a job working for the School of Engineering under Dean Anthony J. Scullen.

Among the stories that she would tell of her years there - dances and dates with lots of guys mostly - she talked about the work that she did. She also talked about going to the National Shrine or the Dominican House to go to Mass, pray the Rosary or go to Confession. She also metioned Fr. Fulton J. Sheen and talked about how the students would stand in the hallway outside his classes to listen to his lectures. And Dean Scullen and some friends would make bets on when he would be named Monsignor.

But Mother didn't stay in Washington, DC because her grandmother asked her to come back to Berkeley Springs to be with her mother (my grandmother). And that's what she did. But that's also when she met my father again. They had known each other in school, but Dad was 4 years younger. They met at a community Easter program and started dating. At Christmas they were engaged and married the following April.

More to come...