What the obituary leaves out - cont'd

Mother and Dad were married in April 1953 and honeymooned in Washington, DC and then on to Ocean City, Maryland where they managed to get sunburned.

They returned to Berkeley Springs - Mother working at Pennsylvania Glass Sand and Dad for People's Life Insurance. And in no time at all my mother was pregnant. Born just nine months and four days after their wedding, my sister Teresa entered on the scene. Less than 2 years later, my brother Stephen. Less than 2 years later, my brother Patrick, and less than 1 year later - yours truly.

My folks were living in the upstairs of the family home. They considered a move to Charleston, WV for a business opportunity, but their eyes were opened to that and they stayed in Berkeley Springs. They looked at building a house, but that didn't happen either. So we grew up in the same household as my mother's parents.

Living under the same roof as one's grandparents is a great experience. You learn so much. I learned about patience with older people. I learned some manners. I learned to bake cookies and play the piano. I also learned by watching my parents interact with my grandparents.

The biggest challenge was my grandfather who's memory was failing. These days he' likely be diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. But in the mid-1960's we just called it going senile. For many years Papa would take us on walks around town. I remember him picking up litter and carrying it until we got to a trash can. I remember stopping in front of the Catholic church and genuflecting as we passed to reverence the Blessed Sacrament.

Eventually his failing mind and his temper got the better of him and he would lash out. I don't remember him ever being cruel, but I do remember my mother having to stand up to him a few times. Even then she was respectful. Over the years the following Bible verse would always bring that to mind.

...take care of your father when he is old; grieve him not as long as he lives. Even if his mind fail, be considerate with him; revile him not in the fullness of your strength. For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, it will serve as a sin offering--it will take lasting root. Sirach 3:12-14

Once I was in school, Mother went back to work, this time as a medical secretary to Dr. Nichols. She loved that work and learned much from him. In addition to providing clerical service she learned much about medicine and was finally able to practice the nursing skills that she wanted to pursue a long time ago.

We grew, survived high school and moved out of the house. During all those years Mother and Dad provided for us with sacrifice and lots and lots of love and support. Dad finally started to slow his work schedule and later retired. He and Mother took a few trips - England, Hawaii, places in West Virginia. And Dad kept getting a bigger boat.

In 2003 we had a big shindig to celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary. That was quite the party!!

The last several years before my father died my folks spent their summers on the O'Carroll docked in Ridge, Maryland. I marvelled that after almost 50 years of marriage they still enjoyed spending their days together in a small boat. I visited them there several times.

Dad decided to sell the boat and he died in June, 2006. In the 2 years since then Mother has kept going and keeping busy. She lived to see one great-grandchild. She died on July 22 following surgery and a month of recovery that went very slowly and then not at all. All of us got to see her many times in the hospital and even to the day she died she was still beautiful.

Our family miss both of our parents. We got along with them and enjoyed their company. We shared many stories and jokes and much love. There was never any doubt of that. But how do you fit all that into an obituary?