2009 started quietly enough. Okay - I was at a party and eating and drinking too much - but once I got sick I felt much, much better.
For the past two years I served as President of DC's Different Drummers and enjoyed that and felt I did a pretty good job. But I had no interest in being President-for-life and I chose not to run for a third term. Not a big problem the folks who would be taking over are capable and talented and they'll do things differently than I did.
What surprised me was the sense of loss I felt when I went to rehearsal the next night and knew that things were different. I was a band member and nothing more. I'll get over it I thought (and I will). At the end of the week an email went out to all band members and I realized that I had no input toward the content. Maybe this is why several of our past presidents have moved out of town.
But I don't want to do that - well, I don't want to move period. But I don't want to withdraw from my friends in the band. First I'd miss them and second they'd get along without me and that would be another hurt.
Fortunately there was much ado about the Obama Inauguration and participation in the parade by the Lesbian and Gay Band Association. So that kept me busy. Once that was over and my company left and I got caught up on rest and chores the sense of loss returned.
As my partner says - I need to get over it. But it is different.
Adding to that we have a couple of pieces in the Spring concert that are only being played by a subset of the band. I understand the reasons, but I also feel as though I am missing out on a musical challenge. In the past we have hacked, slogged and rehearsed our way through some difficult pieces. Sure we grumbled (I am a trombone player!) but we buckled down and worked on the music. As we got to performance if I couldn't play a phrase, I didn't. But each time I stretched as a musician and got better. Now I'm missing that opportunity.
So I'll make the best of it and all will be well soon.
This post isn't about getting others to feel sorry for me. Just sharing what I'm feeling in case anyone notices that I'm not my usual cheerful self.
For the past two years I served as President of DC's Different Drummers and enjoyed that and felt I did a pretty good job. But I had no interest in being President-for-life and I chose not to run for a third term. Not a big problem the folks who would be taking over are capable and talented and they'll do things differently than I did.
What surprised me was the sense of loss I felt when I went to rehearsal the next night and knew that things were different. I was a band member and nothing more. I'll get over it I thought (and I will). At the end of the week an email went out to all band members and I realized that I had no input toward the content. Maybe this is why several of our past presidents have moved out of town.
But I don't want to do that - well, I don't want to move period. But I don't want to withdraw from my friends in the band. First I'd miss them and second they'd get along without me and that would be another hurt.
Fortunately there was much ado about the Obama Inauguration and participation in the parade by the Lesbian and Gay Band Association. So that kept me busy. Once that was over and my company left and I got caught up on rest and chores the sense of loss returned.
As my partner says - I need to get over it. But it is different.
Adding to that we have a couple of pieces in the Spring concert that are only being played by a subset of the band. I understand the reasons, but I also feel as though I am missing out on a musical challenge. In the past we have hacked, slogged and rehearsed our way through some difficult pieces. Sure we grumbled (I am a trombone player!) but we buckled down and worked on the music. As we got to performance if I couldn't play a phrase, I didn't. But each time I stretched as a musician and got better. Now I'm missing that opportunity.
So I'll make the best of it and all will be well soon.
This post isn't about getting others to feel sorry for me. Just sharing what I'm feeling in case anyone notices that I'm not my usual cheerful self.
4 comments:
Aw...big hugs, David! I wish you could have ran for President again. I can't say I've been in a situation like this before, but I really do feel this "loss" you keep describing. But don't you dare leave the band! Remember, you were the one who talked me into this! ;-)
Hugs,
Michael
And you are one of the friends I'd miss if I were to leave - so I'm sticking around.
yes, well, you could follow in the footsteps of some and move to hawaii...
You were a great president and just what DCDD needed. I would rate you and Jana as the best presidents during my tenure. And you didn't flee to Hawaii...sense a theme here?
It's hard to see someone else doing what you once did and in your place. I'm glad you are able to do so from within the group, even though I know that right now it is causing stress. I was president of the Jacksonville Gay Chorus for two years and it was hard when my best friend succeeded me...but it got better. And as a member you still have a voice in what is happening. You don't have to be involved in everything that's going on...that's also a blessing.
Thanks - I know you understand, and so do others.
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