resolutions for 2009

I never make New Year resolutions. But what the heck, it is slow at work...

Travel - namely get to the West Coast in 2009. I was hoping to get to Seattle for a conference last year, but my effort was thwarted. I also want to visit friends in San Francisco and So Cal.

New job - yeah - I spent all of 2008 applying for jobs and I have four open applications right now - just hoping to hear from any and all of them.

Socialize - go out with friends more. I either have band rehearsals or meetings or I'm at home. I'd like to go out w/ friends more.

Self-improvement - be a better friend, brother, uncle and partner. Listen more. be more generous. be quiet. Pray.

My grandmother - Anna Carroll

I was fortunate enough to know all four of my grandparents. And though I never met my great-grandparents I feel as though I know them through the family stories.

Anna Lawyer Carroll - my mother's mother was born in January 1891. Her father was stern yet loved her and doted on her. As she grew up she learned to play the piano and organ and eventually taught piano lessons. She could sight-read piano music very well and for many years she played piano for the silent movies for $.25 a night. If a vaudeville troupe came into town and needed an accompanist she'd get paid $.50 for the show. That was big money she said!

I learned to read music and play the piano from Nana. The book she used was John Thompson's Teaching Little Fingers to Play. My lessons were never scheduled. Since we lived in the same household with my grandparents I would get a lesson or practice catch-as-catch-can.

In addition to the music lessons - and hearing the piano lessons of so many kids over the years I also helped my grandmother with cleaning and baking.

At Christmastime she would always bake a couple of fruitcakes. Not the usual awful kind. She would start with an applesauce cake recipe and then add about half the candied fruits and nuts that the recipe called for. Oh yeah and she'd sprinkle whiskey on the cake and then wrap it in a linen towel and sprinkle that with whiskey. All the cakes and cookies would be stored in the pantry.

In addition to the cakes there would also be fruit cookies, tole-house cookies, scotch cookies and sometimes chocolate cookies. I had such fun helping out in the kitchen - blending the butter and brown sugar. David, if you eat all the brown sugar and butter we won't have any for the cookies! I was also in charge of putting the cookies in the oven and rotating them. I also had the task of tasting them!!

I treasure all those memories and the recipes too!

thinking about Christmas

It is Christmas time and I'm getting nostalgic. I was driving somewhere the other day and I had the radio tuned to a station that is playing non-stop holiday tunes. Yes some are awful and some are cheesy. But it got me to thinking about a time in my life when all those songs were new to me.

I thought about grade school chorus and learning "I'll have a blue Christmas without you". Mrs. Smallwood told us that it is without you, not withou chew.

In fourth grade I sang a solo of "Christmas in Killarney". My teacher, Mrs. Allemong introduced with her slightly country accent - Even in far away Arland people are celebrating Christmas. I wore a bright red shirt and my mother fashioned a big green bow. There's a line in the song How grand it feels to click your heels and join in the fun of the jigs and reels. I was supposed to click my heels when I sang that line. I was so nervous I forgot to move. Oh the poor parents and teachers who had to endure those programs every year!

It wasn't so bad - as a result of my star turn there I was invited to dress as a leprechaun the following March and welcome the pre-school kids who were coming to visit the school for the first time.

There's so much about this time of year that I love. Seeing the holiday decorations go up in my hometown. Making decorations at school. Writing letters to Santa and listening to Santa read the letters on the local radio station. Santa was always preceded by the "Christmas Basket of Music". Santa would then show up and talk about what the elves were doing and the polar bears and the reindeer. He'd talk about Mrs. Claus baking cookies.

Years later I learned that Santa was in reality a friend of the family - my dad's mentor. Mr. Capen would never strike you as the kind of person who would play Santa Claus - but he was wonderful. At some point Mr. Capen was sick and he asked my dad to take over. My dad said the kids would know that he wasn't Santa, so Mr. Capen invented Alvin the Elf who was helping out Santa for a few days. When Mr. Capen died my dad took over the program. He loved it. But the sponsor didn't want Alvin the Elf - he wanted Santa, so my dad became Santa. I think that is why he took to wearing a Santa hat every day from Thanksgiving through New Year.

One aside - my father had an insurance business and he would do his own radio spots for the business. A friend mentioned one day that her son, after hearing the business ad asked his mother, Why is Santa doing ads for the insurance company?

Last Saturday I was painting at home and I had the place to myself and I put the radio on to the station that plays Christmas songs. I heard Bing Crosby sing White Christmas and a bit later I heard Nat King Cole sing The Christmas Song. I thought about so many things and felt happy and sad and hopeful and cheerful and oh so loved by friends and family here and gone.

Thinking about donuts

I'm sitting at work and I'm thinking about donuts. That's not a new thing. I love sweets and I have been working on keeping my weight down - so no donuts except on rare occasions.

But I'm not just thinking about donuts - I'm remembering donuts.

When I was a young teen - wow, that's a long time ago - I went on a trip with my mother. Maybe we were taking my sister some place and all I really remember is the drive back home. It was a sunny, warm day. We were in Keyser, West Virginia. And we stopped at the grocery store because Mother needed to do that.

I don't remember the conversation. I don't remember much details, but I do remember the donuts - raised donuts dusted with sugar granules. They were almost crunchy.

It was a good day. And I'm just sitting here at work remembering a good day.

Catching up on the Blogs

Hey gang,

So I took the time on a verrry quiet Friday morning at work to catch up on my blog reading. Chad's ankle is healing. Matty is lusting after Jesse Metcalfe. (who wouldn't????) And he has some thoughtful posts on his girl Heidi and his friends.

Scott has his usual take on things political and biking. And is mourning the loss of a longtime friend - Ranger. Hell - I cried over my fish dying several years ago - I don't know what I'd do with a dog or a cat!!!!

And then I happened upon Mark Swope's quiet little announcement - Swoper's Ramblings: Tying the Knot. And then I finally got all choked up.

Much love to you all!! Great happiness and continued friendship!

What the obituary leaves out - cont'd

Mother and Dad were married in April 1953 and honeymooned in Washington, DC and then on to Ocean City, Maryland where they managed to get sunburned.

They returned to Berkeley Springs - Mother working at Pennsylvania Glass Sand and Dad for People's Life Insurance. And in no time at all my mother was pregnant. Born just nine months and four days after their wedding, my sister Teresa entered on the scene. Less than 2 years later, my brother Stephen. Less than 2 years later, my brother Patrick, and less than 1 year later - yours truly.

My folks were living in the upstairs of the family home. They considered a move to Charleston, WV for a business opportunity, but their eyes were opened to that and they stayed in Berkeley Springs. They looked at building a house, but that didn't happen either. So we grew up in the same household as my mother's parents.

Living under the same roof as one's grandparents is a great experience. You learn so much. I learned about patience with older people. I learned some manners. I learned to bake cookies and play the piano. I also learned by watching my parents interact with my grandparents.

The biggest challenge was my grandfather who's memory was failing. These days he' likely be diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. But in the mid-1960's we just called it going senile. For many years Papa would take us on walks around town. I remember him picking up litter and carrying it until we got to a trash can. I remember stopping in front of the Catholic church and genuflecting as we passed to reverence the Blessed Sacrament.

Eventually his failing mind and his temper got the better of him and he would lash out. I don't remember him ever being cruel, but I do remember my mother having to stand up to him a few times. Even then she was respectful. Over the years the following Bible verse would always bring that to mind.

...take care of your father when he is old; grieve him not as long as he lives. Even if his mind fail, be considerate with him; revile him not in the fullness of your strength. For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, it will serve as a sin offering--it will take lasting root. Sirach 3:12-14

Once I was in school, Mother went back to work, this time as a medical secretary to Dr. Nichols. She loved that work and learned much from him. In addition to providing clerical service she learned much about medicine and was finally able to practice the nursing skills that she wanted to pursue a long time ago.

We grew, survived high school and moved out of the house. During all those years Mother and Dad provided for us with sacrifice and lots and lots of love and support. Dad finally started to slow his work schedule and later retired. He and Mother took a few trips - England, Hawaii, places in West Virginia. And Dad kept getting a bigger boat.

In 2003 we had a big shindig to celebrate their 50th Wedding Anniversary. That was quite the party!!

The last several years before my father died my folks spent their summers on the O'Carroll docked in Ridge, Maryland. I marvelled that after almost 50 years of marriage they still enjoyed spending their days together in a small boat. I visited them there several times.

Dad decided to sell the boat and he died in June, 2006. In the 2 years since then Mother has kept going and keeping busy. She lived to see one great-grandchild. She died on July 22 following surgery and a month of recovery that went very slowly and then not at all. All of us got to see her many times in the hospital and even to the day she died she was still beautiful.

Our family miss both of our parents. We got along with them and enjoyed their company. We shared many stories and jokes and much love. There was never any doubt of that. But how do you fit all that into an obituary?

What the obituary leaves out

Margaret C. McBee, 83
1925-JULY 22, 2008

BERKELEY SPRINGS, W.Va. - Margaret Carroll McBee, 83, of Berkeley Springs, died Tuesday, July 22, 2008, at Winchester (Va.) Medical Center.

Born in 1925, in Greensburg, Pa., she was the daughter of the late Edward F. and Anna M. Carroll.

She was preceded in death by her husband, Carroll Dwan McBee, in 2006. They were married April 11, 1953.

She attended Catholic University.

She was employed as a secretary.

She was a member of St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Church in Berkeley Springs.

She is survived by one daughter, Teresa A. McBee-Massimino of Shepherdstown, W.Va.; three sons, Stephen C. McBee and Patrick M. McBee, both of Berkeley Springs and David E. McBee of Washington D.C.; eight grandchildren; and one great-grandchild.

She was preceded in death by one brother, Edward L. Carroll.

A memorial service will be conducted at a later date.

Memorial donations may be made to St. Vincent de Paul, Building Fund, 24 S. Mercer St., Berkeley Springs, WV 25411.

That was the obituary that ran in the Hagerstown Herald-Mail on July 24, 2008.

It doesn't say millions of things.

Mother actually had two brothers. The first-born died at about five days old following a complicated delivery. He was nursed and cared for in the hospital, but the morning that he died his mother (my grandmother) knew that he was dying and said to the doctor, This is a Catholic baby and he needs to be baptized. A year or so later my Uncle Ned was born in 1925 my mother was born.

My mother and uncle grew up next door to an aunt and uncle and their 4 boys who were like brothers to them as well. So being the only girl in the mix, my mother was in all the rough and tumble with them too. And she'd get into trouble. If they did something wrong - it was she who would have to 'fess up to her mother.

Fortunately Mother made friends with Mary Virginia Banks who lived down the street. They were born just 3 days apart and were like sisters. Mary Virginia is my godmother.

So, while it sounds like a small family - just two kids - it was much more than that. There was also Mary's sister Ruth and their brother Grove Lee, and further down the street was Marian Lee Wash. And the Shockey boys who lived up the hill. And Patty Mongan and Betty Cohill and the list of friends just kept growing.

Mother grew up active in the local parish of St. Vincent de Paul. She was in the very first First Communion class in 1931 and that is where she was married in 1953 to the man who was the love of her life - my dad, Dwan McBee.

But I'm ahead of myself. As a child my mother developed rheumatic fever and was home sick for 4 years. But she recovered and with the help of tutors she managed to get back in school, just 2 years behind her original classmates. And she had a near-miraculous recovery - well to hear my grandmother talk about it.

My mother wanted to be a nurse and went into a nursing program, but after a conflict with one of the teachers she withdrew from the program. She never did get to be a nurse and I think that is something she had some regrets about. But she went to Business school and trained as a secretary. She did some secretarial work in Berkeley Springs, but she ended up moving to Washington, DC and first worked at Pepco.

My Uncle Ned had gone to the Catholic University of America and studied Engineering. He looked after her though Mother was pretty independent. After a year or so she got a job working for the School of Engineering under Dean Anthony J. Scullen.

Among the stories that she would tell of her years there - dances and dates with lots of guys mostly - she talked about the work that she did. She also talked about going to the National Shrine or the Dominican House to go to Mass, pray the Rosary or go to Confession. She also metioned Fr. Fulton J. Sheen and talked about how the students would stand in the hallway outside his classes to listen to his lectures. And Dean Scullen and some friends would make bets on when he would be named Monsignor.

But Mother didn't stay in Washington, DC because her grandmother asked her to come back to Berkeley Springs to be with her mother (my grandmother). And that's what she did. But that's also when she met my father again. They had known each other in school, but Dad was 4 years younger. They met at a community Easter program and started dating. At Christmas they were engaged and married the following April.

More to come...

Getting careless

Oscar Wilde - the Irish playwright, bon vivant and wit is quoted as saying

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

It seems I have grown careless. My mother Margie passed away quietly on Tuesday, July 22 following surgery over a month ago. She rallied somewhat over the month enough to know that we were there with her, but not enough to recover.

Thanks to all for your prayers and support. Thank you Chad for this post from Chaddyschad.

And thank you Matt for this post on your blog.

Requiescat in Pace

- David

Signs of Improvement

Yea! I visited my mom briefly yesterday and she was awake and alert and breathing on her own. At least this gets her away from the edge of the roof and a lot closer to a window to climb back inside!!!

Thanks be to God!

The cat is on the roof

Years ago a beloved priest in my home parish in West Virginia told the following story.

A man named Phil had always worked hard but had never taken even a day's vacation. So friends and family urged him to take a big trip and get away from work. His biggest concern was his cat and who would look after the cat. Phil's brother stepped up to the task and Phil was happily off on a long vacation.

His first day out, Phil called his brother and the first thing he asked about was the cat. The brother replied he was very sorry but the cat had gotten out of the house and ran out into the street and was hit by a car and killed.

Phil was devestated! Once he finally composed himself he told his brother that he really should think about how he gives bad news to people. Since Phil was going to be gone for several weeks the brother could have said something like, "The cat is on the roof." In a day or so you could add "We've had trouble getting the cat down from the roof." In that way I'd know that something was up and at least I'd be a bit prepared for the news.

The brother apologized and said he would work at being more considerate in the future. So Phil then asked about their mother.

After a pause, Phil's brother said "uh, Mom's on the roof."

My family has always liked that joke and it has been helpful at times to ease into bad news. To that end - my mother has been on the roof for about 3 weeks now and doesn't look as though she's climbing back in a window anytime soon.

Patience, grace and prayers are in order.

M is for the Million things she gave me

Greetings all. We had a little scare yesterday - my mother, Margie, who will be 83 in a couple of weeks went to the hospital and ended up having surgery to remove a ruptured spleen. All signs are stable and she is doing okay - better once they remove the respirator tube. Thanks be to God!

Sigh.

Hallelujah

I've always been a little behind the times. I know I've heard this tune because it has been used in a bunch of television programs. There have also been a bunch of covers of this song as well. This one is especially nice.

Wow is right!

How do you compete with this? Yes it is a progressive state that has been in the Obama column for a long time. But what other candidate this year has come close to this kind of a turnout? 65,000 people - and another 15,000 who couldn't get into the park!. Read the full article from the New York Daily News.

The Play's the thing

Yesterday my partner and I went to Studio Theatre to see History Boys. It is an award-winning play by Alan Bennet - performed in London and around the world. And a film was made with the original cast.

The production we saw was local to DC and we have seen Floyd King who plays Hector, and Tana Hicken who played Tottie in many plays at Studio, Arena Stage, the Shakespeare Theatre among others.

At one point I was struck by how different the experience of seeing a live production is from seeing even a really good film. The empathy with the actors - flesh and blood actors sharing the same physical, intimate space - is so different from watching a movie.

It is very hard for screen actors to draw us into the moment - and if we're watching the movie at home where so many things can distract us - it becomes even harder.

The play is the thing - and it was outstanding!

Project Runway for the Polygamist Sect

Okay - I only saw part of one episode of Project Runway - so I at least know who Christian Siriano and Tim Gunn are. But this is too funny.

Parsing Clinton

I was just reading this article from the Time Magazine website. And it quotes Senator Clinton from her victory speech in Indiana from Tuesday night/Wednesday morning.

I thought she said - Full speed ahead, on to the White House. But they have it as Full speed ahead, onto the White House. Maybe that is her secrety strategy. She's not planning to win the nomination or the election - she's planning to climb the building and stake her claim from the rooftop.

Now that I'd like to see!

Time for an aria

'Nuf said?

Fountain of youth - my virtual age - 28.3

Well no wonder I feel young and still think of myself as being around 25. According to this Life Expectancy Calculator my virtual age is 28.3 -- not bad for someone who is just past 49.5!

There are a whole series of questions about health and lifestyle. According to that I should live to be 96.7 years old! I was hoping for 107 - but if I were to switch to a fat-free diet I'd probably make it.

Why 107 you ask? Because in 2063, the State of West Virginia will celebrate its Bicentennial and I'd like to be a part of that in my hometown - maybe as the oldest person there - that would be really cool!

Or I could make it till 2076 for my 100 year high school reunion - and the nation's Tricentennial. But that might be pushing things. Hope I can still play in the band!

Looks like we made it!

I am thrilled and relieved that it looks like Senator Obama will be getting the nomination for the Democratic Party. I have never felt this strongly about a candidate - and I've been voting since Jimmy Carter's first run in 1976!

Taking pictures

Okay - I know that Facebook and the new world of life online demands photos, but I'm more circumspect about taking photographs.

In 2002 I travelled to Australia with a group. There was discussion about how much film people were taking. I mentioned I had 7 rolls of film. Two of the women laughed and and said, "Amateur."

During the course of my travels I may have used 3 rolls of film. I had my camera with me most of the time, but there really wasn't a lot that I wanted to capture on film. I have a pretty good opinion of my skills as a photographer and pretty much all of my photos were worth keeping.

My Dad was a photographer who had a very good sense about how to frame a shot. He got some great photos and I learned a lot from looking at his photographs.

On a trip to France with some friends we stopped for lunch and there was a pretty church nearby (that applies to most any spot in France). One friend scoped out his photograph and took his picture. And I changed my perspective a little and took my photo and as soon as he saw what I did he said, "That's the photo I wanted to take."

Okay - so I added that just amaze my readers about what a clever guy I am! But in truth, as much as I like photographs, I don't always enjoy the distraction caused by taking them. Not every moment in life needs to be a Kodak Moment. Sometimes it is enough to just be there.

Politics is a horserace

On Saturday a friend from the band and her husband hosted their annual Kentucky Derby Day party. It sounded like fun - I had a hat to wear and there would be yummy food to eat. I placed a modest bet on a horse Gayego - based on name. Later I looked a the odds.

I didn't know much about the line up for the Derby except that there was one filly in the field - Eight Belles. Apparently Sen. Hillary Clinton made much ado about the one filly in the race and was placing her bet on that horse.

Interestingly - the filly came in second to... Big Brown. So not only did the filly come in second, sadly it was injured and had to be euthanized. I do feel sorry about the horse. But as an analogy, I hope it holds up.

Middle Name Meme

I saw this on a blot - Let me Tell you all about it, Sweetie and I thought it was fun

Use the first letter of your middle name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things…nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person you took this from had the same first initial. You CAN’T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Middle name letter: E
Famous artist/band/musician: Elton John
Four-letter word: Edgy
U.S. state: Edward Island, Prince (not a US State, I know...)
Boy name: Edgar
Girl name: Ethelreda (St. - see Ely Cathedral)
Animal: Egret
Something in the kitchen: Electric skillet
Reason for being late: Euphoria
Body part: – Eyes
Drink: Egg cream
Something you shout: Egad!
Something you eat: Eggs Benedict

So long April, hello May

Last year on another blog I celebrated the beginning of May with the lyrics to the Lusty Month of May from Camelot.

Today I a little more circmspect. April was a busy month preparing for a band concert and saying farewell to some friends. On top of that I have heard nothing from any of the jobs I have applied for. (Excuse the preposition.)

So I've had to be patient - and that is going okay - but life at my job hasn't been fun for a long time and that's just the way it is going to be.

So - I am looking forward to the new month of May - some beginnings and hopefully a renewed interest in things. Until then - I'm a little overwhelmed.

The new Donny & Marie

Saturday night was a great fun - a bunch of the gals and guys from DCDD ventured out for Karaoke at Freddie's Beach Bar in Crystal City.

We laughed - we cried - we sang we danced. Oh - and we drank some too! But little did I realize that we had our own answer to Donny and Marie - Schotzie and Cissie do their take on I Got You Babe!

State Farm office gets it

I'm stunned!

My partner and I have had auto insurance with GEICO for several years, but our homeowners has been with State Farm. When our car insurance came due again I thought I'd see if we could save some money with State Farm.

Yeah we did - increased coverage, discounts all around - but the woman I talked to understood that my partner and I have a relationship - even referring to him as a spouse. I'm incredibly happy about that!!! Wow!

Last night I lay dreaming...

Hi fans,

A couple of weeks back I had a dream. I usually have pretty vivid dreams and I'm pretty good about remembering them. Anyway - I shared this with my sister to get her take on it.

I walked into a kitchen - not sure whose and I was apparently leaving and saying good bye. Ella Shipley was sitting at the table, wearing a red suit, cream-colored blouse and I walked around the table to give her a hug.

I said it was wonderful to see her and it had been a long time. (well duh - she's been dead for like 30 years!) And as I leaned over to hug her she said there would be some kind of crucifixion on September 25.

Sounded a bit ominous to me - but not frightening. Here's my sister's comment.

This is my take and it's worth just what you're paying for it - the house represents you, the kitchen is the room where things are "cooked up" or prepared.

"Ella" is one of your guardian angels who took that form because she represents someone you recognize as a wise teacher. The red suit was striking and caught your attention.

A crucifixion would represent a sacrifice and September 25 will be a day of creativity. I wouldn't interpret it as anything ominous, but perhaps a date or deadline for something that you're planning.

Needless to day - I've marked my calendar to remind me in case this turns out to be significant. I'm intrigued!

Start spreading the news....

Greetings all,

Happy Leap Year Day!!! Here it is the end of the month. Some how I don't recall what I was doing four years ago.

Today I'm tying up loose ends at work and preparing for my two week visit to the Big Apple! I'll be working for two weeks at the Paley Center for Media and I'll be staying with a friend in Jersey City. Okay - it may not be the Waldorf Astoria - but he's letting me stay there for free.

I'll get to see some of my NYC band friends and see another good friend who used to live in DC. Plus I plan to see some librarian friends and who knows - maybe something will come of this for a job!

I could use that - life at my job is pretty miserable - my boss decided she hates me. About three months ago I came in after being off for a week of planned vacation and things were different. But I figure that she cannot get rid of me - so I keep doing my job and adhering to her bizarre demands. The longer I stay the more annoyed I figure that she'll be. Sometimes it is fun to be passive-aggressive.

Wish me luck as I try to make it in NYC. Maybe I'll be selected for a makeover on the Today Show!!! Heaven knows I could use it. Or I could just ask for help from my fasionista friend.

Ciao!

I'm so excite - cue the Pointer Sisters!

Hi Folks. It isn't official yet - but it looks as though I'll finally get to do a two week internship in NYC. It will be at a museum where I've wanted to work since I first visited about 10 years ago.

This afternoon I'll talk to the manager of their Research Services about the internship. In a sense it will be a working vacation, but it will be a chance to get my foot in the door and network. Who knows - maybe even find a job opportunity!

I've already talked to one friend up there and I can stay at her apartment for one week - she'll be out of town. Yippee!

More later

A new year - a new start

Greetings to any would-be readers,

I don't know that anyone ever sees this blog other than myself, so I figure I can safely speak my mind here.

For the first time in my working life I truly dread coming to work. In the past I have been bored or frustrated by work or colleagues. This is different. I have felt ill; I have lost sleep, and I am not the only one. One colleague is recovering from breast cancer. She had surgery last May, chemo and radiation thoughout the summer and fall and continues to have doctor's appointments. And she is feeling harrassed and dreads coming to work as well.

Many of the bosses where I work talk about being an engaged employee. If we're truly not happy then we should look for a new job. So that is what I am doing.

I have updated my resume and I have started to make contacts with other librarians and friends who work for other federal agencies.

So what job do I want? I have really enjoyed being a reference librarian. I enjoy the search for information and being able to assist people. I want to stay based in DC, but would love the opportunity to travel - NYC, Chicago, Atlanta, Dallas, San Francisco, Seattle, LA and elsewhere.

Salary is important - I would like to continue making at least my current salary because I figure I'll lose some benefits when I leave here.

So - that's my hope for the new year. Think positively!